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Air Shit

The world first airline thats full of crap…

Sue and Bob, a pair of tight wads, lived in the mid west, and had been married years.

Bob had always want to go flying. The desire deepen each time a barn stormer flew into town to offer rides.

Bob would ask, and Sue would say, “No way, ten dollars is ten dollars.”

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George Carlin talks about the safety lecture one gets on a plane ride. including his own way to get off the plane in an emergency, and among other things - the way a seat belt works !
in a sense, he saved my life.
Thank you, george carlin.

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A student pilot is returning from his first night solo. He had aced the test and only had to land to pass.
He felt high of himself and switched off his landing lights on approach and said on the radio, “Guess Who.”
The person in the tower then switched off the runway lights and said, “Guess Where!”

This is the comment the guys gave at youtube:

This is a video of a C-17 Loadmaster on his first flight doing a test of the radar. We told him the radar was not operating correctly and he needed him to be in front of the airplane while we perform the test. All we wanted to do was to watch him do a dance in front of us to post a video on youtube. We scammed him.

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One day at a busy airport, the passengers on a commercial airliner are seated waiting for the pilot to show up so they can get under way.

The pilot and copilot finally appear in the rear of the plane and begin walking up to the cockpit through the center aisle. Both appear to be blind; the pilot is using a white cane, bumping into passengers right and left as he stumbles down the aisle. The copilot is using a guide dog. Both have their eyes covered with sunglasses.

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Most people wish to fly on the old gauges at one time or another but are prevented by the high cost of the instruments necessary for this form of flight. The following is a more or less known and extremely simple method which may be used by all.

Place a live cat on the cockpit floor, because a cat always remains upright, he or she can be used in lieu of a needle and ball instrument. Merely watch to see which way he leans to determine if a wing is low and if so, which one. This will enable you to your aircraft level in route with complete accuracy and confidence.

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Citation jet lands –> landing fails –> plane ends up in a lake –> pilot shuts down engines –> pilot restarts engines –> pilot increases thrust –> pilot tries to make it to shore… Pfff…

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UNIX Airways

Everyone brings one piece of the plane along when they come to the airport.They all go out on the runway and put the plane together piece by piece,Arguing nonstop about what kind of plane they are supposed to be building.

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“This is what your airline gets for treating me bad as he shook a 7-ounce bottle of Dr. Scholl’s Foot Powder on other travelers as he ran off the plane”

Thumb is a cow… (could not find a picture of powdered passengers)

full story at read more

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To stay on topic…
Watch these guys pushing an Antonov by hand (Or is it magic ?)

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